Focus On the Positive To Achieve New Year Results

At this time of year many people are minded to make resolutions as part of the New Year tradition. They decide to give up smoking, take up jogging to lose weight or make a career change to get away from a job they dislike. Sometimes they attempt to do all of the above at once!

Research carried out by the University of Hertfordshire shows that less than a quarter of people who make New Year’s resolutions actually keep them. Their data shows that most people (78% of their 700 people sampled) focus on the down side of not achieving their goals. It comes as no surprise to me that they fail to achieve results if they are focusing on the negative side. What we focus on tends to grow.

The best way to achieve any goal is to forward vision the result you want to achieve, and then frame the steps to achieving it in positive terms. You may want to lose ten pounds, but focusing on not eating does not help you to do it. Instead, how about focusing on eating a healthy, balanced diet and taking regular light exercise? You want to give up smoking? How about focusing on taking a healthy drink of pure water, every time you would previously have had a cigarette? You want to leave your dead-end job? How about identifying the recruiting requirements for your ideal job, studying to build your qualifications and then applying for the position?

Notice how these are all goal seeking motivations, with positive steps towards where you want to be. This is important to success, as your unconscious has difficulty processing negative images or sustaining away motivation. Instead of stating the objective as a negative (ie Stop Smoking) you focus on the positive steps you are going to take, such as drinking pure water.

When you make your New Year’s resolutions there are just three steps; Decide, Commit then Act.

  • Decide on your achievable goal and focus on the positive steps you are going to take.
  • Commit to achieving your goal, by cutting off from any other possibility.
  • Act to achieve your goal, every day and in every possible way.

Part of the problem that people have in maintaining resolutions is the meaning that we give to things. Human beings are meaning making machines; we attribute meaning to everything. It is a legacy of our primitive past, where we started to attribute meaning to natural events as a way of overcoming fear.

Remember that a minor slip on your path does not mean that you cannot achieve your goal. If it rains and you don’t get out for that morning jog, it does not mean that your resolution is broken – it just means that it is raining. So stay indoors, do push-ups and sit-ups and get over it!

Focus on the positive to achieve the results you want, and have a Happy New Year!

Results are what you pay for

Last night I was sitting in Andrew Barton’s fashionable Covent Garden salon while Shirley was having her hair cut and styled by Andrew himself. As he worked his magic, I realised why he is such a popular stylist, and remembered the old adage that you get what you pay for. The value is in the result.

Many of you will know Andrew from TV programmes such as Channel 4’s award-winning 10 Years Younger. Andrew has worked on the heads of many celebrities including Robbie Williams, Kylie, Elle Macpherson, Kate Moss, Penny Lancaster, Juliette Lewis, Jennifer Ellison, The Olsen Twins, Melinda Messenger and Turkish pop singer Sertab Erener. 1

Having worked for Tony & Guy, and been International Creative Director for UK’s leading hair and beauty salon group Saks, Andrew is now creative head of his own Andrew Barton Hair & Beauty Empire. His flagship Covent Garden salon opened on 12 November, and the business is encouragingly busy.

Watching Andrew at work, he is obviously passionate about what he does, and has excellent rapport skills with the customers. The staff are friendly and helpful, and kept me supplied with latte coffee while watching the master at work. The result is spectacular and Shirley is pleased with the finished style; well worth the trip to London.

If you want to book an appointment with Andrew, or one of his hand picked stylists, the Andrew Barton Salon is located at 25 Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, London, WC2E 8NA. You can phone for an appointment on 02071112 5998 or email appointments@andrewbarton.tv

Note 1. List cribbed from andrewbarton.tv/profile
Prices and services are on the website at andrewbarton.tv

New York Scientists Confirm Memories Can Be Rewritten

I note with interest that Ian Sample, science correspondent for the guardian.co.uk, has reported that Scientists at New York University have found peoples’ memories could be rewritten after being recalled. While this may be a surprise to the researchers, led by Elizabeth Phelps, it comes as no surprise to NLP master practitioners!

This is a technique we use to re-pattern the neurology of a client in a number of different interventions, to achieve spectacular results; for example:

  • Phobia Elimination
  • Memory revisiting to remove a limiting decision
  • Removing performance anxiety caused by past failures
  • Changing a like to a dislike – say to avoid overeating a particular food
  • Revisiting past events to take new meanings

As reported today in the article entitled Memories can be ‘rewritten’ to make them less traumatic Ian records:

In a breakthrough that has major implications for treating phobias and anxiety disorders, psychologists have helped people conquer their fears by “rewriting” their memories to make them less traumatic.

The therapy takes advantage of the discovery that human memories can be modified and made less frightening if they are manipulated soon after they are retrieved. They have concluded that invasive techniques and pharmacological interventions may not be necessary.

According to the university researchers who carried out the conditioning experiment, the best results occur when the memory is rewritten between three minutes and six hours after recalling. This is why a reprogramming session can make such a difference in a very short time. Once the memory has been revisited, it is ripe for changing so that it is no longer a block to performance.

If you are interested in experiencing the beneficial effects of memory changing using hypnosis and light or deep trance, why not click on the link below, fill in your details and get in touch.

Click here to contact us
Click here to read the Guardian article.

Take Action Today and Save $1000

Have you ever read one one of those get rich quick postings and thought this it looks too good to be true? Anyone it seems can write a blog, post a tweet or launch an ebook telling you how to make it overnight, without working. We teach you how to maximize your opportunities, and take massive action, but do not subscribe to the notion that you can get something for nothing.

The BT Event blog has posting about a 30-Day Challenge by Ramit Sethi, where the challenge is to save $1000, and everything has to be accomplished within 30 days. The author, Ramit Sethi, says in the introduction to the challenge “…only the people who spend time implementing will save any money.” Now that sounds like something we teach in our coaching programme.

The full list of tips is published on the blog posting Announcing the Save $1,000 in 30 Days Challenge, but the important difference from the usual savings scheme, is that you have to commit to doing it. Ramit Sethi graduated from Stanford, co-founded PBwiki, and is the New York Times best-selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich. If you want to check it out I Will Teach You to Be Rich it is available from Amazon.

When you learn that you are responsible for everything that you manifest in your life, and that only you have the means to change anything, then you are on the road to personal power. Why not take massive action today, and see how much money you can save in the next thirty days? Take the first step on the road to personal power.

Click here to see Announcing the Save $1,000 in 30 Days Challenge

The Relationship Doctor on Coaching

Some of you will know my friend Scott Braxton as The Relationship Doctor, and author of the LOVE BOOK: The Top 50 Most Trusted Experts Reveal Their Secrets for Relationship Success. Scott received this question from someone who has done a lot of work on themselves, has made a lot of progress, and had many “Aha” moments. He now wants to move into coaching.

Q: I am sick and tired of getting more awareness without getting any results! What’s happening? Is coaching worth it?

Here is Scott’s answer:
You ask if coaching is worth it, and the answer is absolutely yes. If you have a true desire to live a better life, working with the right coach can make all the difference.

People initially seek coaching or therapy because they are suffering. Sometimes you are just stuck, and have no idea what’s possible, or how to get unstuck. Perhaps other people are making your life miserable, and you want to learn how to change them or cope better. Perhaps you see where you want to be, and need help going for it.

For many people, the act of going inside can be challenging. Initially, you will gain awareness of your old stories, which you have unconsciously lived as “The Truth.” You will need to uncover these stories, before you can see how you created the meaning that keeps you entrapped in your particular prison. The more aware you are, the more you will see how trapped you are. Some people find this so uncomfortable, that they will argue, or stop the process before they discover freedom. They would rather talk with people who will support their stories, and say something like, “Poor you. I don’t know how you put up with that. You deserve better.”

For people who want to be responsible, you have the opportunity to take charge of your life. Soon, you start to realize that you are causing all this by the very stories you create – by how you filter, distort, and interpret what’s happening. At first, this sucks, and you may attempt to deny this truth. You may even go into a round or two of blaming yourself. Then you might criticize yourself for blaming yourself, and a spiral may ensue. Sound familiar?

Then something magical happens. You start to see the strategies you have developed to shut yourself down and sabotage your progress. This is truly eye opening. It’s like taking the Red Pill, and seeing reality for what it is. You get to see how you have created your identity, and how that has been holding you in place. Almost immediately, you see new actions that will get you what you truly want.

It is important to learn to be gently with yourself, and your shared humanity. You will be able to dissociate enough to see the positive benefits of the old way of acting the way you did. They served a purpose, and are no longer needed. Typically, the purpose was to keep you safe and secure, yet now you find that these very ways are holding you back from the joy and happiness you now desire.

This desire for joy and happiness can now fuel your self-discovery. Once you see that your point of view is valid, but it is only one of many, you discover your self as distinct from, and equal with other selves. It is only from this place of Selfhood that you are actually able to authentically relate to other people.

Is this easy? No, but is it very simple. You will be amazed at what progress you can make when you trust yourself and your coach, and you willingly do the work.

Scott Braxton, Ph.D., MBA is the author of the LOVE BOOK: The Top 50 Most Trusted Experts Reveal Their Secrets for Relationship Success. Known as “The Relationship Doctor”, Scott helps people to experience and express the love they have. For more information, click here to visit excellentrelationship.com

The Importance of Values in Relationships

I listened to a great web broadcast on combating domestic violence this evening at www.watchlivebroadcast.com.

One of the most important factors in defining the success of a relationship is the common set of values the parties share. For example, if both parties value the environment, then it is obvious that they would have something in common. Similarly if they both were interested in the same sport, then conversation would easily flow around their shared interest.

However if one person values an extravagant lifestyle, and the other values thrift, then they could well have a source of conflict. It is obvious when you think about it, except most people might not even consider it.

The same goes for relationships in the workplace both between colleagues, and with managers and managed. If the manager values brevity but the managed likes to talk around the subject, to establish report before broaching a difficult subject, you can see how this could be a problem. If the company values honesty, but the senior management show little regard for it, then they would have no creditability with the workforce.

Here are a few simple tips to help:

  • Communicate honestly; Credibility is crucial and must be built over time in routine interactions.
  • Listen to concerns. Be available and attentive when employees approach them.
  • Address problems promptly. If the problem requires time to resolve, tell the employee that and update them periodically.
  • Act professionally. Leaders must be consistent in their treatment of employees.

If you want to find out how important values are in relationships, try this little exercise. With your partner, list the top four things you each value in terms of Life, Relationships, Work and Finance. Work separately, and then compare your lists. The differences can be quiet revealing!

Life
What is important to you about life in general: good health and physical fitness, freedom, a sense of accomplishment, fame, travel, mental vitality, recreation and play, learning, the arts, music, creative endeavors, reading, learning, spirituality, religion, helping others, protecting the environment, nature?

Relationships
What is important to you with other people: love, trust and honesty, respect from others, loyalty, family, many or few close friends, marriage, sexuality, companionship?

Work
What is important to you in your work: challenge, ownership, recognition, high learning curve, adequate free time, interesting work, stability, control, creativity, minor stress?

Financial
What is important to you regarding finances: owning nice things, retirement, having extra money for travel or leisure, being financially secure, being debt-free, being wealthy?

If you are interested in finding out more about relationships, you should check out the Dr Phil site. Click here to read Dr Phil’s Personal Relationship Values

For more information on combating domestic violence, click here to visit bullyinganddomesticviolence.com

Draw Inspiration from Anything and Everything

I had cause to travel to London today, on the first day of the tube strike, along with millions of other who have found their travel plans disrupted. It is not my way to comment on the strike itself, as I respect everyone’s model of the world even if it might affect my plans. I have no control over the London underground, but I do have control over, and accept full responsibility for my reaction to it and my state of mind.

As circumstances would require a trip across the city, an alternative form of transport was required. You could be forgiven for taking on a mood of doom and gloom at the thought of unending queues for the remaining public transport, or even canceling the journey. Instead I found the trip encouraging and inspiring.

Of course the train was late in to Paddington, but people just went about their journey with that steely expression which reveals deep determination if you chose to look for it. Of course the queue for the taxi rank reached almost to the end of the platform, in the direction of Reading (for US readers, that is pronounced “Red – ing”!), but it was thoughtfully inside, out of the rain. I found that uplifting and was able to bath in an attitude of gratitude.

Sure, it took thirty minutes in the queue to get to the front, where you were given a coloured card indicating the area of London you were headed. But it gave you a chance to talk to people around you who you would otherwise never have spoken to or even met. More opportunity for celebration!

It took a few more minutes while you were organised by the marshals into taxi sized groups with the same coloured card, each bearing the identity of the Paddington Station Taxi share scheme and the fixed fare price. There was a feeling of excitement as your group waited for its turn, with everyone listening eagerly to the marshals for their instructions. We looked back along the rank of taxi cabs wondering would we get a black one or one of the odd white ones?

Even the trip across London squashed into the cab was interesting, with everyone in the group chatting, or at least contributing to the banter. When I got out of the taxi at my destination I was impressed to notice that I was still in time for my meeting. In fact I have just enough time to add another post on my blog.

It just goes to show that if you take responsibility for your own personal state, you can draw inspiration from anything and everything, and that way lies personal power.

Have a wonderful day!

Try the Benefits of Hypnosis

How would you like to be able to get your conscious thoughts so aligned with your unconscious, that you could be, do, have or achieve anything that was humanly possible? Who would like to be able to reprogram their own unproductive responses and install new and empowering strategies, or adopt the behaviors of successful entrepreneurs? Who would like to model the success strategies of great leaders and take on their level of self-belief, enabling empowering change at the deepest levels?

You can achieve these things, and more by using hypnosis and trance states and installing new behaviors and strategies while you are deeply relaxed. In such a state, suggestions pass to your unconscious mind without being filtered by your critical factor. You can adopt the imprintability of a child and absorb new learning from old experiences. With the help of a trusted coach, you can even reprogram your mind body connection and reduce and suppress pain.

I note with interest that Professor David Spiegel, of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University in the US, will be telling the Royal Society of Medicine to promote the use of hypnosis as an alternative to general anesthetics for some operations. He suggests that Doctors should be taught to hypnotise patients not to feel pain rather than resort to traditional anesthetics, and that it is time for hypnosis to work its way into the mainstream of British medicine.

The theory behind medical hypnosis is that the body’s brain and nervous system can’t always distinguish an imagined situation from a real occurrence. This means the brain can act on any image or verbal suggestion as if it were reality. Hypnosis puts patients into a state of deep relaxation that is very susceptible to imagery. The more vivid this imagery, the greater the effect on the body.

Dr Martin Wall, president of the Section Hypnosis and Psychosomatic Medicine at the Royal Society of Medicine, said hypnosis fundamentally alters a subject’s state of mind. Hypnosis is not, he said, simply a matter of suggestibility and relaxation.

Interestingly, hypnosis was actually used in medicine before the discovery of ether when, as far back in1843, James Braid discovered that patients could undergo surgery without being rendered unconscious by a blow to the head, the previous technique. However, the practice of hypnotherapy is thought to go back even further, as long ago as 6,000 years, to the ancient Sumerian people, who used hypnosis as a therapeutic tool administered by priest-physicians.

Modern hypnosis is credited to Milton H. Erickson, an American therapist who in the 1950s and 60s began to develop the modern form of hypnosis to help him make health-improving suggestions to patients in a deep state of trance. It is in widespread use today by hypnotherapists and life coaches to improve the health and wellbeing of patients and clients.

Dr David Oakley, a Clinical Psychologist and Director of the Hypnosis Unit at University College London, believes hypnosis is a very valuable tool for assisting psychological therapists. He points out that if there is a good psychological treatment for a condition, then using that treatment while a patient is under hypnosis can be helpful in most cases. The basic idea is that the trance state helps the patient improve imagery, focus their attention and enter a more deeply relaxed state.

Why would you want to be in such a relaxed state? Because it is in that state that your Reticular Activation System no longer acts to filter your reality, and so impose your old beliefs and memories on you. You can remove unwanted beliefs such as those that limit your potential. You can install empowering new beliefs such the belief that you can have do or achieve anything that is humanly possible. You can even overturn years of self-doubt that may have been installed, deliberately or unconsciously, by your peers, siblings, parents or competitors.

The Buddha (562-483 B.C.) is quoted as saying “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.“
Where in your life do you think you could use that power and knowledge? What change would you like to make in order to improve your life and move forward in powerful new directions? What would you like to become?

We show you new techniques to deal with problems, see them as opportunities and clear the way to solutions. We teach you how to listen to your body and your inner voices so that you can live harmoniously with yourself. We leave you feeling confident and powerful, with the tools in your hands to do the job and so reach your full potential.

If you are interested in experiencing the beneficial effects of hypnosis and light or deep trance, why not click on the link below, fill in your details and get in touch.

Click here to contact us